This post is part of one from http://www.i-mockery.com/...pure jokes.1. Rip off the sleeves on your ordinary shirt. Take one of the sleeves and thuggishly fashion it over your muh'fuckin' dome. That's some ill shit.
2. Make some crazy gang sign with your extra hand. You should always have one hand on your ballsac, which means you always have one extra hand. Unless you're drizninkin' some 40's, which is acceptable.
3. The cutoff sleeves look makes you ghetto fab. For realz homey. Don't be afraid to show off those pythons.
4. Wear lots of jewelry. It can be your moms shit. All the real gangsta's have something dipped in platinum dangling from their necklace. You can use anything as long as it's dipped in platinum. Like an egg beater. Or a platinum baby Jesus fetus on an anchor.
5. Because you're probably too soft to get real tattoos, draw some on your arms. It's a dead giveaway if you don't have any tattoos.
6. Your boxers should be protruding from your pants. If your boxers are not in sight, you are a thug poser. Tighty-whitey's are acceptable.
7. Your pants should be sagging right above your big thug dick. About two inches from your pube line should work okay. If you have your pants pulled up you are going to get your ass kicked.
8. Grab your balls.
9. Wear a shiney watch. At least one watch. One is the minimum. It is acceptable to wear up to three expensive watches on one arm. You can also mix and match gold with silver. Real thugs from the ghetto only sport the finest wiznatches.
10. Pull up a pant leg. We call this "claiming," and shit. This tells everyone, "Hey bitches! I'm a thug!"
Now you should know what the dilly is. Go out and represent. Get off the hizzy my nizzy. True. True.
 There are other accessorising options for the thug look. I recommend wrapping a piece of foil around a tooth (also known as a Toof) for that "Dirty South" thug look. And you can also color in some facial hair with a marker. It's never a bad idea to have a 40 ounce bottle of malt liquor, and sporting a clip-on cell phone is big pimpin', too. |
And now in closing, I will offer you this rap just in case someone challenges your thuggish ruggish-ness. You have to pretend like you're making it up, because thugs don't do pre-made raps. They only do freestyle. Try and get one of your homeys to beat box so you don't sound stupid.
"What the fiznuck diznuck?Pull my 9-milli and I free it like Willy!
Pop a cap in you ear,
And one in your fake crystal chandelier.
You wanna'-be thug bitch,
I'll spank you with a switch.
I'll pull it off a tree and then I'll just say
WHASSA HIZZY MA' NIZZY?
Bling. Bling."
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